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A Little Something For Me

by Claire on July 12, 2011

6 - The Ride Back - CopyIn the past few months, since all the upheaval in my family’s lives – that is, moving, buying, and remodeling homes – there has been very little time for me. There was, however, a gentleman that appeared out of nowhere and started pursuing me. I won’t go into much detail other than that I’d known him as an acquaintance for several years and thought he was pretty nice. We tried to have a relationship. #fail. Actually, he “resigned” faster than we could even get it started. WTH? I have no idea why other than the myriad of reasons that he cited of too much in my life ahead of him in priority (not really true, but everyone has their own perceptions) and it was too hard for him. Ouch (a lot of ouch) and next.

After that, and all the other stuff, I realized it was time for me. Seriously. For reals,  this time. I had some savings set aside to eradicate my backyard wilderness and turn it into an outdoor living space worthy of an episode of Desperate Landscapes. The work involved however started to feel like just another chore that would never get done and besides, I realized that no one ever comes over to visit anyway, so what the hell? All that would happen is that I would continue to stay at home, stare at the gazillion things needing done around here, get depressed, isolate, and eat. None of that supported my continued goal for a healthy lifestyle and fitness. (And, I’ll save most of this for a different blog post, I’ve gained 10 pounds in the last year and a half that I now have to re-lose making me 20 pounds from goal. Ugh.)

1 - Claire on ride to tulipsIf you know me, you know I love bicycling. My beloved bike – a Giant Cypress W – has been a good and steady friend to me, but I busted the front brakes slinging it in and out of the back of my SUV and tangling the handlebars all around. When I dropped it off at the LBS (local bike shop) to be fixed, I stopped for a bit to chat with one of the lady bike geeks there. I started to drool over a faster, slicker Cannondale. I couldn’t get that pretty bike out of my head. I was obsessed. I realized that this was the best way to spend my money right now. Instant gratification and spoiling of MOI. Me. Only me.

Two days later, test riding three different bikes and hours talking to aforementioned lady bike geek, this sweet thing is mine.

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Yes, it’s not a Cannondale, but this baby is lighter than the Cannondale. It’s a Giant Rapid 3. I upgraded the grips, the saddle, and Wednesday, I’ll be upgrading the pedals. (Separately, I ordered a tow hitch and bike rack for the SUV.) I also splurged on some new biking shoes that are the clipless/cleatless type – I guess that’s how you describe them. They clip onto the pedals, but you can’t see from the soles where they clip in. They look like normal shoes. But oh, so cute! And you know a girl’s gotta have cute shoes.

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Talk about an upgrade in bikes. In two days, I put 26 miles on this baby and oh. my. god. She’s fast, smooth, light, and breezy. Did I mention FUN?

My oldest went on the inaugural ride with me and we had a BLAST.

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If you bike at all, you know about the convention you must follow when you bike on a path and pass others. If you don’t bike, I’ll tell you… as you pass, you pass on the left and you are supposed to either ring a bell or yell out “On your left” as you pass, so you don’t startle the walkers or slower bikers, and so they know to move to the right. In the past, I’ve been the slower rider. The bikers on the road bikes going hella fast always yell out the loudest (and often the rudest) and startle me.

This time, with my daughter, she took off ahead of me, and I started on the bike and quickly moved up the gears and in no time, I was the one going hella fast and passing her. I started cracking up hysterically and could barely get it out without laughing my ass off as I passed her and shouted “ON YOUR LEFT!” followed by wild laughter. Hi.lar.ious.

Maybe you had to be there.

“You’re a nerd” my daughter uttered. Yep, that’s me. And proud of it.

Expect to hear a lot more from me as I start this wonderful relationship with my bike. At least it won’t be scared to death of what else is going on in my life.

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No Expectations.

by Claire on June 24, 2011

When I was dating my ex-husband, he used to tell me he had no expectations for our relationship. I don’t think I was savvy enough then – or had enough self-esteem – to realize just what that meant or what the impact of that type of behavior was having on me, so I stayed with him far longer than I should have. I’ve been hearing it again recently and so my little mind has been noodling on it for a bit. 

When someone – in just about any scenario – tells you they have no expectations, rest assured that’s a big fat lie.  Everyone has expectations. It’s human nature. When I flip the switch on the wall, I expect the light to come on. When my boss hires me, she expects me to do certain work in return for my wages.

In relationships, we all have expectations. It’s inevitable. We have an expectation that we’ll be picked up (or met) at the agreed upon time. We have an expectation that the other person will be honest and forthright with us. We have an expectation that each person will participate equally in the relationship.We have an expectation that the other person will have our back and be our lead cheerleader. There’s more, but you get the gist. Right?

I think the original intent of the phrase is that we should not set unreasonable expectations on another person – that is, we should not expect them to be anything other than who they are. I’m having a hard time coming up with examples that won’t offend someone in some way, but I think you get the idea. People are who they are. We can’t and shouldn’t try to change them because it doesn’t work.

Lately, it seems to me that the trend with some men (I don’t know about women because I don’t date women) is that they tend to overuse this phrase, and with the wrong intent. They use it as a cop out, a smokescreen for the inability to commit or fully participate in a relationship. It may also be their way of letting me know up front that they have no dreams, no future vision, no hopes. Or it may be their way of letting me know they are only interested in “friends with benefits” even if they deny that. The men I’ve dated who have said this end up being the ones that ran the fastest when held accountable to reasonable expectations. 

And I do hold them accountable. I hold myself accountable to the highest degree. Why should I expect less from someone I want to be partners with? Admittedly, maybe this all says more about my picker being broken than anything else.

Just sayin’. What do you think?

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We Interrupt This Bachelorette Recap – Kind of.

June 8, 2011

Episode 3 of Ashley Hebert’s season was much more than just a cheesy reality show, in my opinion. Sure, it was full of goofball dates that I’d never want to go on – like a Flash Mob dance that was played out like it was impromptu but wasn’t. And examples of how a girl who’s [...]

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I have plans…

April 19, 2011

I really want to get back to blogging again – aka writing. I’m sorry if you are one of my three followers and I’ve neglected you. Honestly, the last year and a half has been so crazy, so full of all sorts of emotions and personal stuff that I really haven’t wanted to blog about [...]

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Weekend at Mimi’s

August 23, 2010

Well, it’s really a weekend at Cindy’s and Cody’s, only without Cindy and Cody. Just me, the boys, and Dug the Pup™. We are having a grand time. The first night was a bit rough – mostly me getting settled into things. Learning how often to take Dug the Pup™ out to go potty, and [...]

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I keep going, and going, and going…

February 13, 2010

Here’s a news flash for you: I’m an overachiever. That really surprised you, didn’t it? I’ve always been that way – it’s just who I am. This works out great for me in my career because I can do the work of three people in a third of the time and this keeps me employed, [...]

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Amazing, really, but it’s more than parental pride

February 4, 2010

**Apologies to my Facebook friends who have already seen these photos ad-nauseum** My oldest daughter, Cindy, is an amazing photographer. The word “amazing” is often overused these days, in my opinion, as the go-to adjective to describe anyone or anything with slightly more-than-mediocre or impressive skills, talent, or results. In fact, I heard it in [...]

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National Hug Your Scale Month

January 8, 2010

I’m declaring this National Hug Your Scale Month. Who’s in with me? If there isn’t already such a thing, then there should be. So many people are starting – or restarting – their weight loss program this month after a month or six weeks of food binging from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. And for many [...]

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Pre-Christmas Picture Fun & Wishes

December 24, 2009

Thought I’d share with you some random pics of the last few days before Christmas. Other than that, I don’t have much to say besides I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, whatever your religious affiliation or lack of one, whether it’s summer or winter wherever you are, whether you’re with family or single, [...]

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I think God was listening to my thoughts – and laughing.

December 21, 2009

When I started my weight loss journey, I told myself that once I got thin if I was more attractive to men that would be a bonus, but not the goal. I know I used the weight to keep men at bay, even though I pretended to want to attract them. There are times, however, [...]

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