Episode 3 of Ashley Hebert’s season was much more than just a cheesy reality show, in my opinion. Sure, it was full of goofball dates that I’d never want to go on – like a Flash Mob dance that was played out like it was impromptu but wasn’t.
And examples of how a girl who’s not into her date pulls away when dancing with him.
There was the creepy dude who thought wearing a mask for two episodes was a good idea.
It was especially weird because after removing the mask, he still looked like he was wearing one.
And the leading lady looked like she was trying so hard not to bust out laughing.
But there was a really serious theme in this episode. If you want a recap of all the details, just do a Bing search on Ashley and Bentley and you can find out everything you want to know. The gist of it is that Bentley played Ashley like a finely tuned violin.
He said some horribly despicable, crass things that not even good looks or a smile can erase. No amount of editing can change things he said, such as:
“I can’t pass up an opportunity to mess with her head….”
“Ashley’s digging what I’m putting out, and I’m going to go in for the kill.”
“It’s annoying to just hold a girl whose crying……..and crying……….and crying.”
In real time, I think that Ashley and Bentley had probably known each other for a couple weeks. Many people would say, how could you fall in love so quickly with someone and let yourself be so hurt so quickly? The environment was rich for someone like Ashley to be hurt by someone like Bentley. She was looking for love, and in a show like this, she’s looking really hard and a predator like Bentley could sense it a mile away.
Haven’t we as women been an Ashley at some point in our lives and met, and fallen for, a Bentley?
Hey… A & B… I just got that… Hmmm.
Anyway, as I was saying…
Ashley got her heart played with and broken. She opened herself up and was vulnerable, and Bentley is a master at telling a girl exactly what she wants to hear.
And the only thing I could think about in this scene was that this girl has daddy issues. There’s some free pop psychology for you.
Then there’s the positive side of relationships as evidenced by JP.
JP: From 22 to 30, I was single. Two, three month relationships here and there…but ”it” was always missing.
Ashley: If you’re always breaking up with girls, how do I know you’re not going to break up with me?
JP: Wonderful question. You don’t. You just take a leap of faith. You get hurt, you move on, but time heals, things get put into perspective, and you meet an amazing girl.
Wow.
Powerful words.
Moral of the story: It’s okay to date a lot of people. It’s okay to break up with a lot of people. It’s even okay to have short relationships. It’s okay to open yourself up to being vulnerable and receptive to love even when there’s a high probability that one of the many will use and abuse you and leave you heartbroken. It’s okay, because time does heal all, and in time you learn to spot the snakes in the grass and at the same time see the gems that sparkle through.
One last thought:
Bentley was especially deceitful because he lied and told Ashley they’d leave things open like “dot dot dot”. I loved Chris Harrison’s words to Ashley about that.
“That’s such a guy thing to say. Cuz if it was open ended he would fight like hell to come back. He didn’t. He left. Cuz he could have stayed. A real man would have moved heaven and earth. He would have done everything he could to fight for you. “
Remember that girls.
And who says that cheesy reality shows can’t teach you anything?
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I have to say, folks, I’m just not clicking with Little Miss Ash. It seems to me like she is all too aware of the camera. I am having more fun watching all the guys. Well, I suppose *that* makes me real, yes? I guess I still would have enjoyed our very own 
Funniest statement of the evening – the Mask guy, Jeff. Still has his mask on and says to the camera: “I haven’t had a one-on-one date OR a group date with Ashley.” Hmm. Do you wonder why when you act like you’re the Phantom of the Opera? 
